" I was denied a job because my boss was harrasing me"

[Anonymous <no_email@fake.address>]

I was asked if I wanted a job working for my brother at his co. 3 years ago.  I thought this would be great as I needed the experience after being at home bringing kids up for 14 years.  I started off working downstairs for my brother then got offered a job by his accountant upstairs doing accounts receivables.  Now this is my brothers co. and my cousin who is 60 years old even works there.  I was told the accountant was my boss to go to him for raises,questions etc.  My brothers co. was growing and he didn't have the time deal with everything.  Right from the start the accountant was more than willing to show me computers, accounting etc.  I thought from the beginning that something was strange about this guy.  He was 26 years old I was 40 at the time. When he would show me things he would get real close and sometimes would sit on his dest and dictate things to me and say now look at me when I explain things to you.  He always seemed much much older for his age and very smart.  I was intimidated by this guy and he knew it.  He was on America Online at work and would play on it while I was doing all his work in accounts receivables for him.  He would get mad if I didn't get to the bank on time and would tell me to hurry up and finish.  I would say to him who wants me to get to the bank my brother or you.  He would say my brother does and I would find out it really didn't matter to my brother on busy days.  He loved the boss role and played right up to it. One day he showed me America Online as I was interested in it.  He let me play on it and showed me how to do e-mail and he wrote a short note to his girlfriend.  I wanted to go on America Online at home but was also having a lot ot trouble with my computer at home.  I would write down what was wrong with it and bring in the notes to see if he could help me.  He would and say go home and try this or that and sometimes it would work.  But one day he said I have an idea why don't you cook dinner for me some night and I will look at your computer and install America Online for you.  I told my husband that he would be coming over and he was there the night he came and we all had dinner.  He met my husband once before at a x-mas party at my brothers house.  He never seemed very friendly to my husband and never asked question about him to me.  So we had dinner and he fixed my computer and installed America Online for me.  Little did I know that this was the beginning of what was to be harresment over the internet with my boss.  About 3 months after putting me online I started getting these instant messages from a different screen not his but with a very similar profile as his.  My husband goes under my screen name and would see these instant messages when he was online or if  we both were.  My husband thought it was weird and said even when I'm not here let me know if you get these messages. My husband said play a long with the jerk and you will find out who it is.  I was sure it was my boss but had no real proof.  The accountant took my screen name and my kids screen names when he was here.  He was very friendly towards my kids. I guess he figured that my husband had his own screen name but he  didn't ask for it.  I would get messages saying What do you look like and how tall are you etc. Once I asked why do younger men like older women? He answered More Assertive,Attractive,Conservative.He said usually a women older but not always. Physically a women about 5"7 D-Cup(which I am not) but he perfers C cup.  I played a long with this as my boss doesn't know that my husband goes under my screen name. He started playing games in the office that didn't stop for months. He once measured me after asking how tall I was online.  The whole Co. went to a party for someones birthday and the night before the party he instant messaged me and said what color eyes do you have?  I said green ( which I don't have) then I said I love brown eyes big brown eyes(which he has) and the night of the birthday party he was walking around me starring at me real close so I would see his eyes. My husband didn't go but said let me know if he bothers you.  I knew it was him at that point. Before all this started online he said your up for your review real soon and said he was the only one to do my review because he was my only boss. I never got my review for 11 months after and kept asking for it.  My brother kept forgetting to talk to him and was in his own world in his part of the Co.  I was getting disgusted and over the 11 months he kept playing games like trying to get me jeolous of his girlfriend when he would call her on the phone at work.  I got a instant message saying that he loved me and that he was going to marry me in 3-4 years and that he met me when I was 40 and he was 26.  He said now I am 28 and she is 42.  My husband said either someone is doing this and pretending to be him or it is him.  He said sexual things over the internet and every day I got more depressed and distant at work. He was using body signals to let me know it was him.  He once got tickets for a wine festival and tried to get me to go with him.  I said no and he said I won't tell if you don't tell.  I said no I am not going drinking with my boss and he said everyone I know is out of town and I said everyone I know is in town. So he said I will ask Pamela then. She was a new girl at work.  So he asked her and I went with my friends and he tried to get me jealous the whole time we were there.  I took off with my friends and never saw him for the rest of the event.  Monday at work he asked me if I had a good time and I said yes.  He bragged about how him and Pamela went to dinner and had fun.  I was getting disgusted with the job and everything.  It was all games with him. I never got my raise as Pamela who worked downstairs left as she couldn't take working there anymore. And I was moved downstairs to take her job. When I was moved downstairs my boss made me believe that I would be coming back upstairs. After going downstairs I found out  he is advertising for a assistant upstairs now and I have to stay downstairs. He told me that he had no time to hire someone downstairs in place of Pamela but he certainly has time to hire someone upstairs.  By the way this  Co. that is my brothers isn't women friendly and I have seen 6 girls in 5 years come and go. They have an employee problem.  They all were harrased out of the Co. by either my brother or this other guy downstairs. I don't like bad mouthing my brother or his Co. but I never knew my brother was like this or his Co. My brother was taught by a guy with a business degree who is a lot older than my brother and taught him the old ways.  This guy who taught him   is a womanizer & asshole to women.  He drove two women out of the place and won't admit to it. And I went to my brother crying about that. Since then the older guy has been acting better to women.  But I don't trust him. I am in a tough situation here as there isn't much I can do as this is my brothers Co. and I don't want to start anything between our relationship.  We were always close until I started finding this out.  I don't have any respect for him now and am disgusted with his Co.  I got my raise after 2 weeks being downstairs only because I kept telling my brother. When the accountant gave me the raise he never gave me a review didn't say anything good about my work performance.  Just said that he was becoming manager of the Co. and would be hiring someone new upstairs.  I truly believe I was sent downstairs because I didn't go a long with the instant messages I was getting and I know he loves the power. And just to let you know I never said anything about the instant messages to the accountant or anyone in the Co. but I know it was him because of the crazy things I saw going on. There was much more instant messages  and my husband is a witness to it all. But we still have no real proof as he was under a different screen name.  My husband suggests I leave the Co. but I'm sorry but I feel I am giving in to this asshole if I leave because that's just what he wants.  Plus I think he wants all family out of the business so he will be the only one left.  My cousin works there now and he is 60 years old. I am not sure what to do as it isn't easy working for family in the first place, but when this happens it is scary and how do I tell my brother.  It could cause a lot of problems with our relationship and that might be just what the accountant wants because I think he was always jealous of my brother & my  relationship.  Please let me know what yu would do.  Joan