Media's Influence on Raising Kids: Moms Sound Off!

July 28, 2007

By Jess Grunberg, Communications Intern

"My daughter is nine. She is constantly begging to watch movies portraying women as brainless doormats. She wants to watch music videos depicting women as sex toys rather than people. She idolizes these half-naked women who are shaking their scantily-clad asses for the camera while some no-brain moron spews out degrading lyrics with a smile. Why do we as women, as mothers allow this to continue? . . . Where are the strong women role models that our daughters so desperately need? . . . Why can't we give our girls someone to look up to, someone to aspire to be like, someone to inspire them in the entertainment industry? They are few and far between. And it makes me furious," says Sue from Maryland.

In May, NOW invited moms, as well as dads, caregivers, teachers and all those who care about kids to take our Moms on Media (MOM) Survey. The questionnaire allowed participants to give feedback on raising kids in our media-saturated, pop culture-fixated society.

Participants rated a number of media trends and practices--such as violent toys and video games, sexist stereotypes in kids' TV programs and movies, and a lack of racial diversity in media for kids--based on the challenge they present to raising feminist/progressive children.

NOW tallied responses from the almost two thousand participants, who were also encouraged to share their personal opinions on the media and point out additional concerns not covered in the survey. We received an enormous number of intelligent, thoughtful, funny, passionate comments, and it's just too bad we can't share them all.

According to the survey results, the number one media-fueled challenge to raising feminist children is the sexualization of young female performers/celebrities, with 82 percent of respondents calling this "extremely challenging."

Here are the top challenges according to our survey:

1. Media's sexualization of young female performers/celebrities
2. Marketing of unrealistic beauty standards through fashion magazines and the beauty/diet industry
3. Video games that promote violence and negative stereotypes
4. Music lyrics and music videos that promote negative stereotypes and violence
5. Sex-stereotypes in kids' TV programs and movies

"Girls are sexualized way too early and are brainwashed into thinking that being treated like a 'ho' or sex object is a desirable thing. Boys grow up believing that such treatment is what girls want. Kids value materialism and celebrity above all else, because that is what the media glorifies," says Michele from Connecticut.

Not only do these images reinforce objectification of women, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), they also have detrimental effects on the self-image of young women.

An APA report on the sexualization of young girls comments: "Given that so few women meet the dominant cultural standard for an attractive sexy appearance, it is not surprising that a girl's chronic comparison of her own body to this impossible cultural standard would result in feelings of inadequacy and shame."

In addition to sexual exploitation and unrealistic beauty standards, our culture's obsession with violence was also on many respondents' minds.

Kelli from Washington State believes that the "violent and non-realistic" video games "are making it so our children do not know the difference between reality and fantasy."

Violence and sex in the news really got people fired up: "I'm unable to turn on news without fear of traumatizing my child, much less myself; as a single mom, the media only increases my fear of stepping outside," says Wendi from Florida.

Patti from New York added: "How about when the news broadcasts sexually oriented stories during breakfast with the kids. I try to watch the news to keep them informed, but it is getting increasingly harder to do."

Not all of the concern lies in these more explicit images; participants also commented on the effects of less blatant, or altogether absent, representations in the media, such as characters with disabilities or lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender characters.

"[There is a] lack of positive LGBT images in mainstream culture that would reflect our two mommy family," says Carissa from North Carolina.

The survey also sparked commentary on the lack of representation of girls and boys in roles that defy gender stereotypes.

Bree from Oregon expresses concern for the media's tendency to "make fun of" those children who do not conform to socially constructed gender roles: "My daughter told me she couldn't play basketball (even though she loves it) because kids would make fun of her [for] 'being a boy.'"

Boys may also be scrutinized when they do not follow male-gender roles defined by our culture. Alternately, when males portray stereotypical masculine traits, parents may be unaware of the media's powerful influence.

"It's a rare parent who realizes that this perverse sense of 'masculinity' is not innate and that the culture at large instills it in their boys," says Maria from California.

While our survey respondents pointed out such stereotyping, as well as an extensive array of issues within the media, a few participants also applauded the recent emergence of more socially conscious campaigns, such as the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty.

Campaigns such as these are welcome responses to a media that promotes conformity and breeds insecurity. "[The media needs] more messages about accepting who you are, [and] not conforming to one image," says Ellen from Kentucky.

NOW also asked respondents to weigh in on the improvements they have seen in the media during their lifetimes. Ranking highest were:

1. Access to more educational and diverse material for kids through the Internet and other media
2. More racial diversity in TV, movies and books
3. More strong, smart girl role models in TV, movies and books

An example of both numbers two and three is the Nick Jr. television show "Dora the Explorer," which features an adventurous Latina girl as the main character. However, Andrea from Missouri points out that Nick Jr. later invented a male character extremely similar to Dora in "Go, Diego, Go!" in response to what she believes are "homophobic parents [who] are worried that their boys like Dora."

Although feminist-friendly media outlets do exist, they seem to be "countered by an even worse element," according to Andrea. "We get Dora, [but only] along with Bratz dolls," she says. In fact, many respondents sounded off on Bratz dolls, as well as the princess craze and sexy clothes for young girls.

Obviously, the media places difficult burdens on those trying to raise children. NOW realizes that overcoming the media's influence on our children is a huge and daunting task, not to mention discouraging-- but we're in this together. That's why NOW leaders and our allies are meeting with television network executives to talk about how women and girls are both portrayed and represented in the media.

Our respondents had their own suggestions for how to help combat the media's influence on children.

"I think the prevalence of media in our society means that we need to be extremely vigilant and never miss a teachable moment. The best way to counteract the things we don't agree with is to talk to our children about them as they see them so our values get across. If we start young and are consistent it can go a long way towards diffusing the negative impact," says Amy from Iowa.

"Just say NO. My kids don't watch TV or play video games and it is the best thing that I have managed to do with them," says Beth.

"Sports for young women is a very beneficial activity in many ways and should be encouraged as much as it is for young men," says Kathy from Massachusetts.

Finally, NOW suggests that everyone speak out. Write or call your local TV station, the networks or any media outlet – not just when they promote negative stereotypes of girls, but to commend them for the positive portrayals as well. The media need to hear from us, and you can find contact information for just about any outlet right now on our media action web site.

And NOW promises to do our part. Follow up stories on the top issues, as identified by you, will be posted on our web site in the coming months. Stay tuned!