Do You Want to Help NOW Make a Difference in the fight for Equal Marriage?

"Equal Marriage" isn't just a political wedge issue, it's the fundamental right to legal recognition and protection of a relationship with a life partner. The stories of people who love each other and those who support such loving relationships offer a powerful testimonial in support of equal marriage.

We want to share your stories about the emotions and love that strengthen your life as an LGBT identified person or an LGBT ally.

WHAT:
NOW's Equal Marriage Task Force is collecting personal stories of people who are touched by the ongoing struggle for marriage equality for all.
NOW's Equal Marriage Task Force will use stories and pictures on the National NOW website & in other promotional materials to reinforce the importance of equal marriage in our fight for equality.

WHY:
The personal stories of LGBT couples and their allies present a powerful way to personalize the importance of equal marriage. By presenting the faces of loving relationships and those who support them, we hope to break the barriers and challenge the ignorance that underlies opposition to equal marriage. NOW's Equal Marriage Task Force wants your story to help show how marriage equality is an issue that affects everyday people.

HOW:
Share your experiences as an LGBT-identified-person or LGBT-ally (approx. 500 words). See questions & read others' stories to help get you started!

Below are some questions to help get you started. You can choose to answer all or none of them or expand on them. Thank you for your help!

Questions for LGBT Identified Persons:
1. Who was the first person you came out to? How old were you?

2. What you were most nervous about when you came out?

3. Describe some challenges you face as an LGBT person.

4. Describe a specific time you were discriminated against for being LGBT.

5. What do you value the most about the LGBT community?

6. What saddens/frustrates you about the current marriage equality struggle the LGBT community faces?

7. Describe the perfect future for yourself/your family/your relationship regarding marriage equality.

8. Do you have any children?
If so, how does this issue affect them and their future?

If you have a partner…
9. How did you and your partner meet?

10. How long have you and your partner been together?

11. Describe a funny /story/joke/experiencenickname that you and your partner share.

12. Did you have a commitment ceremony?
If so, describe it.

13. Do you and your partner have children– or are you planning on having children in the future?

14. How do you think the current marriage inequality affects your children (or future children), their future and your family?

15. Describe how the marriage inequality affects your relationship with your partner’s family.

Below are some questions to help get you started. You can choose to answer all or none of them or expand on them. Thank you for your help!

Questions for LGBT Allies:

1. Are you related to or know someone in the LGBT community?

2. Have you witnessed discrimination directed at or against themon their behalf?

3. Do you find that people react to you differently when they find out you know or /are close to someone in the LGBT community?

4. Are you ‘out’ about supporting LGBT Rights?

5. Why is marriage equality important to you?

6. Why do you consider yourself an ally?

7. How does the marriage equality movement make you think about marriage (your own? your friend’s? the institution of marriage in general?)

8. Why is it important to you that discrimination not be added to the constitution?

9. Why is equal marriage a feminist issue to you?

10. If you are married - how does the ability of same-sex couples to marry affect your marriage?

11. If you are married - based on your experiences, what are same-sex couples (who are unable to marry) missing out on?

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A Shared Story

Lisa and Kristi
San Diego, CA

My partner, Lisa, and I have just celebrated our six year anniversary. We met while we were in college and what started as an innocent flirtation has blossomed into a committed, loving relationship. Since then we have adopted a pug puppy, got engaged this past New Year’s Eve and have recently relocated from Minnesota to San Diego. We are excited to spend the rest of our lives together and hope to someday raise a family. Our future is full of dreams that every loving couple envisions.

Though our lives are happy and full, we still experience challenges being in an open, lesbian relationship. When we first met, fearing a negative reaction from our small, private university, we kept our relationship, and sexuality, hidden for over three years. It was hard to keep a huge part of our lives, especially a part that made us blissfully happy, from everyone. It was a relief to finally come out to our family and friends. Thankfully, the majority of our family and friends have been supportive and accepting of us and our relationship.

As LGBT-identified persons in a committed relationship, we face unique challenges that persons in a heterosexual relationships aren’t exposed to. For example, we constantly have to justify our relationship and explain the most mundane details of our lives to people we have just met. Lisa is often referred to me as my ‘friend’ by coworkers or others who are unsure of what terminology to use. Though I know some of this stems from politeness, situations like this usually end up evolving into discussions and misunderstandings. Simple things, like going to a hotel and asking for a one Queen-sized bed or holding hands in public, can turn into a situation where we might be harassed, refused or discriminated against. Living your life with the threat of potential discrimination in every situation can be exhausting, annoying and exasperating. We are fortunate, however, to not have experienced any severe form of harassment or harm for being LGBT-identified and I find the majority of people are tolerant and courteous.

Since we are newly engaged (and planning our wedding for summer 2007!) and busy building our lives together, legal marriage has been on our minds a lot. I believe that we, and every same-sex couple, should be allowed to legally wed. Legal marriage, besides providing social recognition for relationships, creates a safety net of legal and financial security - luxuries that Lisa and I are not allowed. These include, but are not limited to, how we file taxes, hospital visitations, and the legal status of us being guardians to our future children. The right to marry has been recognized by the Supreme Court as a fundamental right under the United States Constitution and by stopping two consenting adults from marrying is discrimination - plain and simple. America was founded on the idea of freedom. Our government should be ensuring that everyone is treated equally and able to pursue life, liberty and happiness. Lisa and I, and our relationship, deserve those rights.