My name is Sophie Horak. I am an office manager for a general surgery practice, and my husband, Bob, is a paramedic/firefighter. Unlike Karen Santorum, whose husband is a United States Senator, I am like most other Americans. My family and I could be your next door neighbors. Our thirteen year-old son could be a classmate of your children, and we could attend your church. We are sharing our story with you because the procedure that Karen Santorum refers to as "infanticide" allowed my family and I to say goodbye in peace to our very wanted child.
Bob and I, practicing Catholics, wanted a large family. So when we learned in October of 1992 that I was pregnant again, we were both thrilled. Our joy turned to sorrow in the fifth month of my pregnancy, during a routine prenatal visit. During the ultrasound an anomaly was detected - the baby's (we had decided to name him "Joey") heart was pitched to the right side rather than to the left. Our doctor's diagnosis was that Joey suffered from a diaphragmatic hernia. A hole in Joey's diaphragm had allowed his intestines to move into his chest, pushing his heart to the right.
Our doctor referred us to a high risk OB/GYN at Lutheran General Hospital who offered us an option. Fetal surgeons at the University of California at San Francisco (UCSF) were doing specialized surgery and he thought that they could repair the hernia. I would have to stay at UCSF until I delivered, hooked up to IVs with medication to prevent premature labor. We didn't hesitate - we wanted to save Joey.
A few days later, Dr. Harrison from UCSF called to tell us that the Board was temporarily suspending the fetal surgery. My heart sank - why now, why us? That day, my family and I went to church. It was a beautiful, warm April morning. People came up to us and asked if I was getting excited about the birth. Each comment broke my heart, but how could these well-meaning people know the pain we were suffering?
Later that evening, Dr. Harrison from UCSF called to say that he wanted us to plead our case in person before the Board. We immediately agreed, and within a few days we were in San Francisco to plead for our Joey. When we got there, I went through another series of tests. As the results came in our hopes disappeared. Not only did the tests confirm that Joey had a diaphramatic hernia, but all of the abdominal contents, including Joey's entire liver, were in his chest. Because the liver was fully within the chest cavity, fetal surgery was not an option. Moreover, Dr. Harrison said there was no hope for Joey and that I would probably lose him soon. Once again, we were devastated. Dr. Harrison referred us to a doctor who could help end Joey's suffering.
At Dr. McMahon's office we met with a counselor who listened to us and embraced us as we cried. They explained an abortion procedure to us, which Mrs.Santorum would erroneously label as "partial-birth abortion." Then we met with Dr. McMahon. I asked if we could see Joey after the surgery. He said yes. As I was put under anesthesia for the procedure, Dr. McMahon held my hand. I thanked him for treating us with dignity; I was crying and he was crying with me. When I woke up in the recovery room Bob was holding my hand.
When the nurse brought in Joey, we cried when we saw him; he was such a darling baby. His face was so sweet and peaceful. However, his chest looked like a huge barrel, his abdominal organs packed tightly within his chest, while his waist was so tiny that I could loop my fingers around it. We bathed him in warm water and then gently dried and dressed him in a little blue outfit. We took turns rocking him, singing to him softly and loving him. Being able to hold him, touch him and kiss him goodbye was so important to Bob and me. As we held Joey, ironically there were no tears. It was peace that we finally felt.
I hope my words can help you to understand that my family and I made the decision that was right for us and for Joey. How can Mr. and Mrs. Santorum possibly think that they are better equipped to make a decision like this for my family and me? This was the most difficult and heart wrenching choice we've ever had to make, but denying us this choice would have been worse. We would never be so arrogant as to sit in judgment or second guess the Santorums for acting in the way that was best for them. For Joey, and for the families who will face similar tragedies in the future, we're appealing to the Santorums to honor and respect families, and allow us to face personal medical decisions that only we can make with the advice of our physicians.
Sophie and Bob Horak live in Illinois with their thirteen year-old son. They are working with the National Abortion Federation to oppose legislation banning certain abortions.
NOW Home Page / Join NOW / Catalog / Search / Send mail to NOW