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| Betty Friedan at a NOW action in May, 1995. |
Send in your own tribute to Betty Friedan.
In Memoriam: Betty Friedan; Honoring Groundbreaking Author, a NOW Founder and First President
I am a young man (will be 22 on March 18) and words can't describe the magnitude of your impressive work over the first 39 years at NOW. I started to fight for equality late in the game (in February 2003) and instantly knew just some of the battles that the prejudiced right wing was waging. And when I looked deeper into the NOW web page, I realized that there was a full-fledged war going on--not in Iraq--but here at home. It was a War on Women and the conservatives were the ones waging the war. Still to this day, inequalities between men and women still exist in the United States and we still have a long way to go. Women still earn about 22 cents less than men and women are still not protected by the Constitution like men are. Time and time again, you have been one of those people fighting for justice and equality for all people without regard to gender, race, or sexual orientation. Even though I wasn't born until 1984, I know what was the purpose of a hanger back in the pre-Roe days. And I also know about the days when women were not counted as part of society. Betty, you changed all that and made great inroads. I hope to get "The Feminine Mystique" from my local book store(s) and add it into my collection of books. Again, Betty, thanks for your tireless effort fighting for women and to make sure that women are treated as equals to men (like myself). God will ALWAYS bless you!
Jovan Byars
Williston, S.C.
The American Association of University Women shares sorrow with many other sister organizations of the 20th century women's movement in expressing their deep sympathy at the loss of one of its most notable members, Betty Friedan. We are proud that Ms. Friedan's life's work mirrored our mission, including her support for equity for women, lifelong education, and positive society change. From her early days as a graduate student, then, struggling writer, to her notable work in the feminist field with political activism and organizational development, all of these efforts created a legacy for today's women and girls. AAUW shares its sincerest sympathies with Ms. Friedan's family and celebrates her life of promoting equity for women - in education, workplace and society!
Ruth Z. Sweetser
President, American Association of University Women
Barbara L. O'Connor
President, AAUW Educational Foundation
In September, 1995, Betty and I covered the U.N. Conference on Women in Beijing for the Voice of America. I will never forget walking with her through the site of the simultaneous NGO conference where women from every continent rushed up to tell her how she had changed their lives. At the end of the day, in the car back to Shangri-La Hotel (where she worked out in the exercise room before breakfast every morning), she paid me a high compliment by suggesting that I was a better feminist mother than she! Not true! She was the supreme model for all of us.
Jane Casey Hughes
Chevy Chase, MD
Betty Friedan, NOW and the feminist movement changed my whole life when I was only 15 years old. I stopped being a doormat for boys and found a wonderful sisterhood that gave my life meaning and joy. I am donating in her honor today and in honor of other, lost 15 year olds who are looking for a way out of pain and anger.
Dyann
Portland, OR
Betty Friedan's writing "The Feminine Mystique" and work as a founding member of NOW has really opened my eyes to the oppression still present in the United States, and has really inspired me to become active politically for women's rights. Betty's life and work has encouraged millions of women to pursue our dreams, take action in our lives to become the women we are meant to be. I think that today is such a critical time to continue the fight and work for that which Betty Friedan, as well as Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott, Sojourner Truth, Susan B., among many other marvelous women began to ensure that all women have the right to pursue any and all of our dreams, demanding equal pay and career opportunities, equality in education providing access to financial funding, admittance, and support for women and girls for education on all levels because of Title IX, women's right to CHOOSE our own destinies. Because of Betty, and so many other courageous women who demanded FREEDOM for all females we will never go back to the shadows and allow anyone to ever oppress us or tell us we cannot be anything and everything we choose to be. It is our birthright to bloom and shine in the world! Peace and Strength to all of my Sisters.
Theodora Rudolph
I was a young adolescent living in a small town in New Jersey when I noticed my Mom's copy of "The Feminine Mystique" lying around. The title really intrigued me and I remember paging through it and although I didn't understand everything I read, somehow I knew it was about women's lives and that it raised questions and issues that hadn't been raised before, and that my Mom was drawn to this subject. The simple notion that women deserved to have fulfilling lives,and that this fulfillment could happen outside the household fold had impact on me and of course still does. I'm proud to call myself a Feminist and so is my 21 year old daughter...and my 81 year old Mom is happy and going strong with a lot of fulfilling activities. Betty Friedan, Bless your Heart!
Phyllis Kirson
Eve's Garden pays tribute to the passing of Betty Friedan whose dedication to the cause of women's rights became the foundation of Eve's Garden. Her 1963 bestselling book, THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE, detailing the lives of American women who were expected to find their fulfillment through their husbands and children, became the catalyst that set the fire in women's hearts to demand equality for women. She was the founder of the National Organization for Women. I joined NOW in 1970, which led to my understanding of the need for women's freedom of sexual expression. Thus creating the spark in my resolve to create a place , particularly for women, to inspire them to enjoy and celebrate their own sexuality. We call upon every woman to celebrate your life by continuing to fight to secure all of our right to make our own choices, so seriously threatened today by the forces of darkness, by joining the organization Betty founded in 1965, THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN.
For these many years NOW. has stood at the forefront of guarding the rights of women. They welcome and need your support. I have been a member since 1970 and I hope you will join me in lending your energy, financial support or both to NOW.
If you are a member of NOW., new or old, send or fax us a copy of your membership card and we will send you a $10.00 GIFT CERTIFICATE, Compliments of Eve's Garden. Please go to http://evesgarden.com/Html/nycstore.php for our address or fax number. It is our way of thanking you for joining NOW who is continuing the struggle, on behalf of all women, to create a better world for all people. A World based on feminist principles of nurturance and compassion for all people and most importantly, for Mother Earth herself, so she can continue to provide us all with a healthy home.
And remember, pleasurable bodily feelings are the source of your power and health. So, love yourself on a daily basis, in mind, body and spirit.
Reverend Dell Williams
Though there were many founders of NOW, Betty Friedan was really the key figure. The late great Catherine East, whom Betty called the "midwife of the feminist movement" told me the story ..... Catherine and a few others long realized the need for an organization like the NAACP to fight for women's rights. Betty's fame made her the person to light the match -- so Catherine , Mary Eastwood and others prodded her into doing just that. After it was founded Betty's passion and energy made everything happen. Yes, she had the help of thousands of great women -- but without her revving them on the movement would never have happened so fast and been so successful so quickly. I worked very closely with her from the strike of 1970 to 1977 and saw first hand how her driving energy and chutzpa made things happen We all know she wasn't a saint.... but she wasn't dealing with improving our souls to enjoy heaven, but with improving conditions here so we could enjoy life on earth...which probably affects heavenly matters anyway. After a good rest she'll probably shake things up over there, too.
Jacqui
Lafayette, LA
It's the brave, like you that make things happen. Your passion for true freedom & equality has created a way for more women to be heard, through NOW. I am grateful to you and all the founders of NOW. I am now able to be informed and involved in matters of my future. I am strong, and educated because of woman like you who have fought fiercely for the future of all women. Thank you BETTY FRIEDAN. We need more women like you to fight! We will carry on! I will remember you.
tonnia de la cruz
Costa Mesa, CA
We are all touched by her life and her passing! I have been inspired to activism by her life. I have made a donation in her memory to NOW!
Sue Purdy Pelosi
Palo Alto, CA
What can I say about he sense of loss I feel? If it were not for Betty's Feminine Mystique I probably would be in a mental institution! Reading her book changed my life and lifted me out of the belief that I was totally crazy for not absolutely loving my role as wife and mother. She lifted the guilt I felt and made me see there were others like me out there. I know she must have heard this a zillion times but I hope she can hear all of us saying it again from wherever she is now: "Betty, you changed my life!"
Anna
Whitestone, NY
I first met Betty Friedan at the Detroit National Conference on April 23, 1977. We talked for quite some time and I found her to be very gracious. I was so proud to be in her company. She was warm and down to earth. She asked me where I was from and I told her I was from Syracuse, NY and belonged to the Central New York NOW Chapter. After our talk, she left me with these unforgettable words: "Don't give up, we still have a battle on our hands".
Diane C. Bonacci
Syracuse, NY
"The Feminine Mystique" was where Ms. Friedan and I met just a year ago. I am sixteen years old now and my life has changed forever because of Ms. Friedan. Ms. Friedan has truly showed me the way to break through what today and generations before me wanted to keep the same. Her strength has continued to empower me daily to become revolutionary in what I believe in and to simply live life the way it's always supposed to be lived. Thank you Ms. Friedan, I always dreamed of meeting you, but your strength and passion was always close enough for me.
Megan Bates
Indianapolis, IN
I first became a member of NOW around 1981. As a young stay at home mother, I realized that the dream I had been sold as a woman was not all it was cracked up to be. Betty Freidan gave words to those feelings and the belief that I could change my destiny and that of other women. I became a chapter NOW officer in my area and entered a consciousness raising group. I rallied and message brigaded for the ERA-In a word, I became EMPOWERED in my own life and committed to the cause of women all over the world. Thanks you Betty for opening my eyes!
Kristin Urry
Salt Lake City, UT
Betty Friedan was my feminist "mother." As a young college student in 1965 I first found her book The Feminine Mystique, and, at last, I realized I was not alone in my feminist heart of hearts. She connected me with the MOVEMENT and gave me the strength to fight for equal rights in my own community and world. Indeed, she is our Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, and George Washington all rolled into one. We need to create a lasting tribute to her tremendous accomplishments and leadership. She will be sorely missed. Thank you, Betty, for everything!
Elizabeth Marquardt
Forest Hill, MD
It is hard to put into words what Betty Friedan meant to my life. In 1960, as a young woman searching for a life that included both family and meaningful career, I was often subject to discouragement. I carried Simone DeBouvoire's book, The Second Sex, with me in graduate school for support and inspiration. By the time The Feminine Mystique came out, I was a wife, mother and professional social worker. It was difficult to balance my life. But The Feminine Mystique became my new bible, and kept me going. Today, at 70, I am a divorced grandmother, retired from a long career of clinical practice and teaching for which I have received a lifetime achievement award. I could never have done it all without Betty's help. Thank you, Betty, and may you fly with the angels!
Annette R. Smith, Ph.D
Naples, FL
I read Betty Friedan's acclaimed book, The Feminine Mystique, when I was 20 years old, in college, and it changed my life, as it's been doing for women (and men) since the day it was published over four decades ago. A book with such lasting power, even in the face of criticism and dissent of the magnitude encountered by the women's movement, is a testimony to Betty's fierce intellect and inexhaustible spirit.
Stacia M. Fleegal
West Chester, PA
Ms. Friedan stepped up to the plate when women weren't allowed to play the game. She went out on a limb that even her fellow females were willing to saw off! She was not afraid to seek change during an era when all women were allowed to change were diapers. She was misunderstood by many women and called names by many men, but she went forward, she paved the road for all women! We owe her such a debt of gratitude. We owe her a deep respect for opening up our lives to all the possibilities that is there for us today! THANK YOU Betty, you will forever live in my mind as a woman of freedom, a woman of change, and a woman of choice!
Linda Spurlock
Prestonsburg, KY
I believe the work of Betty Friedan was one of the most impactful on my personal
life. I am a 50 year old grandmother; I have a daughter and 3 granddaughters;
I hope they will never feel the sting of gender discrimination or sexual harassment.
We have come a long way in a short time thanks to Ms. Friedan and other women
who fought the good fight. The sad thing is the fight will have to continue.
The far right wing would love nothing more than to put us uppity women in
our place; barefoot and pregnant—forced to give birth, forced to live
without the freedoms we take for granted. Ms. Friedan's passing has affected
me in ways I cannot express. There is a great sadness and fear that we will
become complacent. My teenage daughter had no idea, until she wrote a paper
on the women's movement, that my great-grandmother didn't have the right to
vote, own property, or have control over her body. Thank you Ms. Friedan for
all you have done.You are an inspiration for us all.You have shown us the
power we have within.
"Is death the last sleep? No, it is the last and final awakening." Walter Scott
Cynthia Adams
Jackson, MO
I first learned of Betty Friedman while attending graduate studies at Hunter College. I had fabulous professors who encouraged me to take courses that were specific to women's rights and violence against women. I gained so much from these courses and reading "The Feminine Mystique". Thank you Betty, you will be missed, but left behind a legend.
Irasema de Jesus
New York City, NY
The life and work of Betty Friedan compelled both women and men to think in dramatically new ways about the dignity of the human person. "The Feminine Mystique" must be counted among the great books of the twentieth century. With out question, it should be required reading for both young women and men.
John Boddie
Cobbs Creek, VA
I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for me. Our struggle continues, but the world is a better place because of you. Thank you.
Bowie, MD
Betty Friedan was a remarkable woman who led a remarkable life. She was gifted with intelligence, foresight, and the ability to attract and organize people to action. We in the women's movement consider Betty the Mother of the second wave of feminism which is still going strong. With the birth of the National Organization for Women, Betty founded the longest lasting and strongest women's organization in the world which is still thriving and changing women's lives. I was one of the fortunate ones to live near Betty and see her now and again. The loss of Betty will be in body only for her spirit will live forever.
Marilyn Fitterman
East Hampton, NY
Her courage along with the courage of the women whose shoulders she stood on is so awe inspiring it leaves me speechless! GOD Bless you BETTY.
Dolores
Here's to a true leader of the women's rights movement... Betty Friedan dedicated her life to the fight for equality and justice for women... She was a true heroine!
Nina Grigoreas
Mansfield, CT
Thanks to Betty Friedan I know that one person can change the world. We were active in the 70s, ran the NOW office in Denver and were contacted by hundreds and hundreds of women looking for a new life and the path of equality. She saved my life and for that I am most grateful. We still have much work to do and value all the women doing it at this time and who will be working for freedom and equality in the future for our daughters and grandchildren. God bless you Betty - know She will welcome you and thank you for all your efforts.
Maureen Denver Douglass
Denver, CO
Betty Friedan changed my life, and positively influenced those of my daughters, because of my reading her "Feminine Mystic", and currently/coincidentally now reading her "Second Stage". As a wife and mother, herself, Betty, gave each woman the courage to believe in herself as a person, a human being, who was more than just an extension of a husband, of children. However, never minimizing husbands and children. She motivated, and gave courage to generations of women to seek, to achieve outside their mother's and grandmom's stereotypical roles! Telling us, each one, that to even be a round peg in a square form, was OK! Just as the loss this week of Coretta Scott King, reminds us all of how very recently Civil Rights were fought for ... and concurrently, Betty Friedan reminds us that women, worldwide, have yet to achieve all the basic human rights, to which they are entitled ... both these great women will proudly hold significant places in our history, and remind us that civil rights and women's rights are daily still being fought for, that we must, each and every one of us, tell ourselves and all whom we know, that in the memory of Coretta and Betty, and for ourselves, for our daughters and granddaughters, we cannot ever stop advocating for our human rights! Thank you to each of these superb women, and I am sure they would only want for each one of us, to continue their advocacy, their goals. Rest in peace and thank you for what you both have given us, what you have begun for the world! Proud to be a woman's advocate, a believer in civil and women's rights!
bakohn
Colesville, MD
What a loss—but what a blessing you have been. Especially at these turbulent times, that oddly seem to mimic the past, your contribution to us all will fuel us to move forward. Thank you Betty. Thank you so much.
Lisa Lambert
Atlanta, GA
Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique" paved the way for so many of the freedoms that I have grown up taking for granted. I only began to realize several years ago as I matured that the near-equality that I enjoy is precarious and that the fight for equality for all is never over. Betty Friedan's death (and recently Coretta Scott King's, and Rosa Parks') is a great loss to all women, yet we must be sure to keep her memory and the memory of the community-based movement that she launched alive. In tribute to Betty Friedan, I dedicated two hours of my on-air radio show at WRFL 88.1 Lexington (FM radio station in Lexington, KY) to her. Playing only female and feminist music of all kinds, I incorporated the soundtracks of some of the gender socialization films from the '40s, '50s, and '60s with a reading of the first chapter of "The Feminine Mystique." I hope that everyone listening gained a new respect for Friedan herself and a new perspective about women's equality. As I was reading, I kept getting chills— how true her words still ring today!
A. K. Gatewood
Lexington, KY
Many thanks to betty for helping us all get the opportunities we have over the last 30 years. I have taken my opportunity to help eradicate poverty worldwide by improving the management of water.
Nancy Barnes
In 1982 I attended an ERA rally at the Oklahoma State Capitol. I was pregnant with my son and brought my 2 year old daughter with me. If it were not for Betty Friedan I would never have gone to that rally. She was a true groundbreaker for women's rights and issues. I feel a great loss because of her passing. I would like to say thank you Ms. Friedan for me, my daughter and now my granddaughters. You were a big inspiration for me. You will be missed.
Cynthia Bayne
Ada, OK
Mother Friedan was a beautiful and inspiring woman. She was a woman I someday aspire to be like. Anyone woman, who can juggle both raising children and writing an influencial book(s), you have no choice but to appluade. She raised awareness of the "problem with no name." And inspired mothers and daughters alike (not to exclude grandmothers and men) to stand up for themselves and gave them a voice, when they didn't have one. The world has a suffered a great loss, between Ms. Friedan and Ms. King, but it's up to us to perserve their legacy and fight for the inequalities that plaque our society today. I am forever in debt to both woman because if it wasn't for either of them I wouldn't be what I am today. Rest in peace.
Caitlin
Jackson Heights, NY
Although I never had the privilege of meeting Ms. Friedan, I am grateful for the strides she made in furthering the rights of women. I was very saddened to have heard of her loss. We will continue to fight for equal rights for women, to keep abortion safe and legal and to carry on the legacy Ms. Friedan started. Thank you, Ms. Friedan.
Valarie Blaes
Richmond, VA
My mother told me the sad news that Betty Friedan had died. It was Friedan who changed my mother's life and view of her place in the world. It was because of Betty that I was raised in a manner that nurtured and empowered me as a woman. Her influence shaped my being. I believe Betty Friedan was one of our greatest pioneers and I honor her life and am so grateful for her courageous spirit that I know will continue to touch the lives of many women. Her life was a cherished gift to all humanity. She will be missed.
Alyson Carbary
Shoreline, WA
I loved bracing myself for everytime I was going to see Betty. You just never knew! And, how wonderful that she is going to go on shaking things up. "The world was moving, she was right there with it, and she was; she was glad about about it, no doubt about, and she was...."
Diane H. Welsh
Brooklyn, NY
This past weekend, women's rights advocates lost one of their founding mothers and heroes. Betty Friedan helped launch the women's rights movement with the publication of her landmark work, "The Feminine Mystique." She also helped establish important women's organizations that still affect public policy today, including the National Organization for Women (NOW), National Association for the Repeal of Abortion Laws (now known as NARAL Pro-Choice America), and the National Women's Political Caucus. The ideas she espoused became a rallying cry for women throughout the United States who demanded equality between men and women. She helped women realize their immense potential to contribute to the business, educational and political realms, as well as family life. While women have made much progress in the past decades, we must continue to fight for equal pay and equal rights for women in our country and around the world.
Hilda Solis, Member of Congress
As young boy in 1966, I had no idea how much this woman's committment to human equality would affect me in later life. I can only guess where we would be in the social fabric of our society if she had not grasped the mantle of equality for all humans, men and women? Men are far, far better offÔbecause of Ms Friedan's committments. I am happy she gave herself to the world in this way. My sadness at her death is helped because, on reflection, the reality of her spirit is not gone.
Sam Sherman
Irvington, NY
Thank you, Betty, for helping in changing a society from what it was, to how it is now. A lot of work still needs to be done, but women have come so far since the 1960's. Thank you for allowing me to know that I have a choice in what I want to be, and not a single, narrow definition of the role I am to follow. At 18, I've recognized the importance of the movement, and I will continue to lead it where ever I go and I will continue to teach others, including my future children. I am a feminist, and I thank you for what you've done.
Catherine Gallagher
Tallahassee, FL
How can I properly say "thank you" to a woman who, without even knowing me, gave me the opportunity to make my life whatever I wanted it to be? I will never be limited in my career choices to a secretary, teacher, or nurse. After finishing my master's in molecular biology, I am going to dental schoolÔyou had a huge part in making this dream a reality. Thank you for blazing a trail, which will allow young women like me to live their lives to the fullest. You will never be forgotten.
Sarah Trunnell
Washington, DC
Nuestro reconocimiento a la vida y al legado de Betty Friedan, todas las mujeres que resistimos en America latina a la ola conservadora y luchamos por nuestra igualdad, tenemos en ella una referencia que nos anima.
Magdalena Valdivieso
Venezuela
Wow. My name is Cait, and I'm 15 years old. I'm proud to say that Betty Friedan really influenced my life. Because of her, I got a club started at my high school for women, and we hope to become a chapter of NOW. The fact that she's passed away makes me sad, but also makes me want to tell everyone in my club about her accomplishments.
Caity
Horsham, PA
What we as Americans and as women around the world owe to Betty Friedan is beyond calculation. One voice, one message, one truth, that women are fully human, fully spiritual, fully intellectual, fully physical, seems so obvious today—although in many placesÔit is still debated. Thank you Ms. Friedan.
Mary Toth
Baltimore, MD
Thank you Ms. Friedan, for making my world a better place and giving me the freedom that no other woman in the history of my family has ever had. I vow to make the most of the opportunities that you helped make possible, the opportunity to try to be the best person I can be and to fulfill my potential as a human being by the freedom of free will. I will do all I can to keep up the good fight for women's rights which are, as you said, human rights and freedom. May God bless you as much as you have blessed this world.
Joan Laughner
Thank you to Betty Friedan for my rights and empowerment. I am proud to be a woman from Peoria.
Shelley
Peoria, Illinois
The women of the 60's generation cannot thank Ms. Friedan enough for establishing a precedent that allowed us to become a person in our own right.
This has to be passed on from generation to generation. I taught my daughter about how to live her life separately from any man she would go with or marry.
In retrospect we of the 60's generation can see how much Ms. Friedan did for us.
The younger women of today have Ms. Friedan to thank for being allowed to be heard and to express themselves as women.
God Bess You Ms. Friedan.
Caroline Moody
Illinois
Betty Friedan was the soul of the feminist movement. A tenacious agitator for reform, both within the halls of power and outside, and a broad coalition builder, Betty Friedan has played a central and unique role in many of the advancements toward gender equality in the last 40 years.
It is rare that a book so exposes quiet truths and changes the national debate as did Betty's Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique". It opened the nation's eyes to the unmistakable reality that women were not satisfied with society's categorization of them as extensions of their husbands, that we are people with something unique to contribute in our own right.
For this book, and all of the struggling that came after, Betty Friedan was a catalyst. Because of her, American women now, more than ever, have the right to choose a professional career, to choose motherhood, or to choose some combination of the both.
On many of the issues to which Betty Friedan devoted her life's work, such as ensuring pay equity, child care for working women, and protecting reproductive choice, there is much work yet to be done. In remembering the extraordinary life of Betty Friedan, let us recommit to carrying that torch for the generations to come.
It is with great sadness and respect that I extend deepest condolences to Betty Friedan's family and to the legion of her friends and supporters around the world. I hope it is a comfort to them that the entire nation mourns their loss and are praying for them at this sad time.
Nancy Pelosi
House Democratic Leader
Thank you! Like many women born in the early 1970's I never knew a world before "The Feminine Mystique", I do not remember the days before feminism and all the opportunities and freedoms it helped us to gain. I never understood my mother's desire to drop out of college to marry and have children until I was in college myself and I read your book. It was only then that I began to understand your importance. So I thank you for my mother who eventually finished college and for the daughters and granddaughters I hope to have one day.
Roxanne Daigneault
Hamburg, NJ
I attended Betty Friedan's funeral this morning. I knew Betty only slightly; I met her years ago in the course of being president of NOW-NYC. My life, however, was completely transformed by NOW, the organization she was instrumental in founding and running, and that experience led to my role today at Legal Momentum, another organization that owes its existence to her vision. (One thing I learned at the funeral, from another past NOW-NYC president who knew her far better than I, was that, had I walked up to Betty Friedan to offer this story of her enormous impact on my life, I would have been welcomed graciously for about sixty seconds, but if I tried to take more of her time than that, would have been told, not politely, to "Go away!")
Legal Momentum's own Muriel Fox began the eulogies with a powerful tribute that made us proud that Muriel remains such a strong presence on our board. She declared, "Betty Friedan was not just the most important woman of the last century; she was the most important woman of the last millennium!" Muriel made us recognize the unique power of a person who not only wrote the book that galvanized the entire modern feminist movement, but also created the organization that was the central driving force of that movement. As Muriel said, imagine if Harriet Beecher Stowe had not only written Uncle Tom's Cabin, but also began the abolitionist movement.
At Muriel's urging, I just reread the NOW Statement of Purpose, which Betty Friedan co-authored in 1966. It is striking in breadth, and will remind you simultaneously of how far women have come in forty years, and how much unfinished work we have to do.
Other speakers included Elizabeth Holtzman and Marlene Sanders, who befriended Betty Friedan in the 1960s when Marlene was the only female correspondent for ABC News, and helped to present the women's movement to the public. Then family members shared their memories. Her 23 year old grandson spoke of the fire for justice in his grandmother, a fire, he said, that it took every disease and malady known to man to put out over years of illness. Her son talked of hearing "those crackpot women" hatching schemes to change the world in his family's living room, and the experience of going to Washington, D.C. on an 8th grade class trip only to see his mother, dressed in suffragist white, handcuffing herself to the White House gates. He also described going to Bryant Park behind the 42nd Street Public Library on August 26, 1970, at the age of 17, and finding there not a few dozen or a few hundred of "those crackpot women," but 100,000 of them listening to his mother call through loudspeakers for action to bring women equality. As we learned, particularly from her daughter Emily, of some of the painful contradictions of her mother's life—for example, an enormous energy for thought and action that drew people in, and a capacity for angry eruptions that could drive them away—I thought of how readily the world accepts the aggression and impatience of great men, and how essentially unforgivable it remains in great women.
The rabbi who opened and closed the service sang the Kaddish, the Jewish prayer for the dead, but also spoke of Betty Friedan's impact on her own life. She wondered whether there would even be women in the rabbinate had Betty Friedan never given herself to the world as she did. When her grandchildren walked by with the plain pine casket, it was simple greatness—raw, individual, intellectual and personal power—that I saw being carried away to the grave. We're lucky she lived in our time—or rather, to have been alive in her time.
Jennifer K. Brown
Legal Director, Legal Momentum
President of NOW-NYC, 1985-1987
I met her in the 90s at a National NOW Conference workshop session of about 25 people. In 1963 I was working as a librarian in the 58th Street branch of the New York Public Library in mid-Manhattan. Part of my job was to look at the new books that has not yet been put out for the public. When I examined "The Feminine Mystique" I found it to be so engaging, and such an easy read that I did not put it down and read it through in one sitting (the only time in my 40-year plus career that I have ever done this on my job). What I would have liked to say to her is that her husband visited the library and asked me if I we had the book. When I said I had read it and gave him my praises he asked if we were going to buy more copies. He seemed very nice and very proud of her.
Justine Postal
West Palm Beach, FL
She was a catalyst for change and inspired me to pursue the ideals of a feminist! I will forever be grateful!
Chelsie Ward
Rochester, NH
Betty, you showed us the way and you are still bringing us together. I'm sure that was you it that bright orange sunrise as I met Susanne and we bonded over your passing during our brief bus ride. You have touched lives in a way that you could never know. Thank you.
Natalie Christl
Indianapolis, IN
My heart pains for this great loss, I am proud of having witnessed Betty’s life. God knows her work best, I pray He will keep her close to His heart. In this 24 hours of her passing, tears form in my eyes, but I am hopeful for tomorrow, for Betty Friedan made it shine bright.
Rodoni
When I was in my teens, a neighborhood woman with whom I was friendly, handed me Ms. Friedan's book and said "Here you read it, it's too late for me." I did and Ms. Friedan's words have been a guiding force throughout my life. In feminist studies classes, at parties, in church, as a teacher, in any part of my life, I have spoken out for feminism. Only now, upon reading Ms. Friedan's obituary in the Boston Globe, after crying and crying, did I realize how much I had internalized Ms. Friedan's beliefs and I quote "It seemed to me that men weren't really the enemy — they were fellow victims, suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate." I tell my students that feminism benefits everyone and allows people to be fully human. In gratitude to your life, I will continue to speak out for feminism and for the right for everyone to pursue their human potential. Peace.
Linda Morse
Millis, MA
You are the epitome of what it is to be an enlightened human, a force, a trailblazer, a friend, a beautiful person, an educator, an inspiration........a woman.
Michelle Ciucci
Austin, TX
I don't speak English very well. But I want to say thank you, Betty Friedan. Thank you for all my rights. The world is much better because of your (our) fight.
Júlia Moita
São Paulo, Brazil
Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique" meant a lot to women of the 60s but I was too busy surviving poverty and parenting to read it. In the late 70s I finally got to college and read her 1976 book "It Changed My Life" and that book meant a lot to me. Together with Miller and Swift's "Words and Women" I began to quit blaming myself for the impossible circumstances of my 'designed to fail' life (which I had blamed entirely on myself because I became a teen parent in the early 60s). These books helped me to see that the problems were political as well as personal and system-wide change was the only real solution. Friedan helped to change my life and I am very thankful she was an author and an activist in my lifetime.
Jean Richards
Greenfield, CA
Betty Friedan changed my life. At an early age (10-11), I read "The Feminine Mystique". It was instrumental in me choosing a different path than my mother (a housewife). After reading the book I was determined to create an independent life for myself marriage or not, kids or not, and I did. She opened a world for me, my mom only dreamed of. Because of Ms. Friedan, I've lived my life, and continue living my life, as a free, independent woman, obtaining a degree in Math, pursuing a successful career, while home birthing and breastfeeding my children... eventually forming my own corporation. How different my life might have been had it not been for Ms. Friedan!
Eva Lawler Esparza
Austin, TX
Thank you, sister! The lives of all women were bettered by the time you spent on this earth.
Marie Meacham
Franklin, GA
I lost myself, I was just another woman devoting all her energy into the man in her life. Knowing that I was unhappy and frustrated my boyfriend gave me "The Feminine Mystique". The book has transformed my life beyond words. "The Feminine Mystique" has inspired me to take a chance and challenge myself everyday. It has also made me realize that I am worth having passion for myself and realize that to truly be happy one mustn't try to find it within someone else. Happiness comes from within and implementing one's desires. Betty Friedan's death has deeply saddened me and I know that her presence will be sorely missed.
C.J. Hagans
Indianapolis, IN
I am a 40 year old police supervisor, and a rabid supporter of feminist rights. I tell my much younger female subordinates of the importance of Betty Friedan and her work. She established the right for me to work, without hassle, and with equal pay. She stood up at a time when it was not popular to do so. We as women have so much to thank her for. Because of her, I revere her and Gloria Steinem as true heroes. May the young women of this country learn of Betty Friedan's triumphs and hardships as we benefit from her willingness to fight. God bless her, and God bless the National Organization for Women.
Teri Uno
Brandon, FL
Thank you, Betty, for touching and inspiring my journey of becoming the free woman that I am today. Your spirit, love, courage and charisma continue to live, also through me.
Galia Schechter
I am 51, and throughout my married life, I have embraced the title of Ms. proudly. I owe you an immense debt of gratitude. You faced the boos, the indignations, of those who never understood what it was like to be female in America. I never understood why the Equal Rights Amendment was never passed—maybe because all those women and men never had to face such indignities of being refused a job not because they couldn't do the job, but because they could. I've never read your book from 1963, but I plan to, and I apologize for my ignorance. You've earned your rest, and I hope to meet you someday.
Ms. Jan Cinco
I've heard so many women college students say "I'm not a feminist." It always makes me sad, because, had someone not been a feminist, or a suffragist, or a bluestocking, these women would not have anything like the breadth of opportunity and choices—to say nothing of the sense of self-worth, confidence, and entitlement to being self-fulfilled—that they have.
Rest in peace, Ms. Friedan. You fought a good fight, and I thank you—and all your sisters—for what you've done for us, your daughters, and granddaughters. And most of all, I thank you for what you've done for my daughter. Thanks for making this country a better place for her. May we all—whether we call ourselves feminists or not—continue that good fight.
Krissa Swain
Knoxville, TN
Your writings changed the world. They changed my life when I read them for the first time in my Women's Studies class. I find it hard to imagine the world without your spirit and determination to bring women equality. You will be missed.
Kristi, a third-wave feminist
Decatur, GA
What a beautiful person with such an amazing mind. Betty Friedan changed my life along with many others and contributed so much to our society that words truly cannot express how thankful I am to her.
Jennifer Lackey
Eugene, OR
Betty Friedan was truly the mother of the modern feminist movement. It was through her vision, her tireless work, and her cooperation with others that woman achieved so many of the rights we now enjoy. She had the courage to challenge the status quo and to demand that culture reexamine the full nature of women. Because of her our horizons widened, and our vision cleared, and our world changed for the better. Thank you, I will not forget.
Bernice Freselli-Foster
Rio Linda, CA
Betty Friedan saved my life. Thank You.
Linda Langford
Thank you for making so many things possible for women today, through your actions. May your work be carried on, by all women, and equality always be the goal.
Jackie Stybel
Seven Hills, OH
"Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffered Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question. Is this all?"
Thank you, Betty Friedan, for allowing me to see that there is more to life and that I deserve to experience it. I only bought "The Feminine Mystique" several months ago but since then, that book has changed my life so enormously, more than anything I've ever read and probably more than anything I ever will. At numerous stages in the book, I felt overwhelmed with emotion because she was describing my experiences and fears so perfectly. As I'm only 20, Betty's book redefined my existence and allowed me to create a new life plan for myself—one in which my happiness is paramount and one in which I don't "owe" anyone anything.
Thank you Betty Friedan. It is largely because of your courage and what you fought for that I am the woman I am today. It is because of you that I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe I deserve and it is because of you that I am excited about what my future holds. Thank you so much. Your legacy will live on through the countless women you've inspired and all the lives you've changed.
Rest in peace, you'll never be forgotten. May we never stop fighting for what is rightfully ours.
Dizem
Melbourne, Australia
Betty, You will be surely be missed as you leave this world with such a mark and enter a place of peace and serenity. I want to thank you for all that you have done to contribute to women's rights. You will live on through your actions and inspiring and liberating way of living, thinking and being. As a 27 year old in 2003, I found "The Feminine Mystique" and felt as if you wrote it for me. Because of you I delved into feminism and found many other terrific authors, organizations and more freedom. I thank you for taking the risk and for raising the consciousness of so many. I thank you for validating my feelings and the feelings of our sisters. I will continue to honor you as I reach my creative dreams and spread your words. We will all miss you and will do our best to continue your mission. And when we finally reunite, well then we can hug, share a cup of tea and reflect on the power of WOMEN! Rest in peace sweet one.
Colette Kenny Gold
Brooklyn, NY
Thank you for your courage, anger & perseverance, Betty Friedan. I, a long-time feminist in Japan, owe you a lot. As one of the first Japanese members of the National Organization for Women which you had established, I have learned that the women's issues are the political issues and we should find the effective way to influence to politicians. Rest in peace, Betty Friedan.
Mariko Mitsui
Japan
I am a twenty-three year old woman who is proud to call myself a feminist, which is becoming increasingly rarer among the women my age. Throughout my education, I struggled to find something that really opened my eyes and made me feel passionate and connected. It happened for me in Women's Studies, and the first piece of feminist literature I read was, of course, "The Feminine Mystique". I have Betty Freidan to thank for changing my life the way she changed so many women's. I will continue to fight as hard as I have to the way she did for me and the other women of my generation and many to come. Although I never was lucky enough to meet her in person, Betty Freidan changed my life. And for that I thank her. And for that I will miss her.
Julie Sansone
Hopewell, NJ
Of course Betty Friedan's writings were a strong influence on my life. Her death has brought to mind what I miss about the late 1960's and 1970's and the strength I felt. That strength was due to the conversations with and support from women of all ages who, like me, were influenced by the movement she began. I have taken some of this forward in my activism of today. Nothing compares for me to that time. In honor of her influence, insight and strength, I pledge to send memberships to 10 women of varying ages, including myself, to NOW. We still have a long way to go. Young women need to remember who came before and why.
Gina Foglia
Cambridge, MA
Dear Betty,
It was great working with you from 1971 and 1972 as your assistant. I'll always remember the laughs we shared, and it was a privilege to be close to you and Emily. I'll miss you. I wish you peace up in heaven, and thank you for women everywhere who you owe you so much. "The Feminine Mystique" will never be outdone for its power and influence. Thank God you were so smart. Bye for now. Or should I say, N.O.W.?
Love, Sally
Sally Drell
Delray Beach, FL
Betty, you changed the lives of so many women. I wonder if you ever really knew how you improved our lives. Everyone of us owes you so much. It seems like these words are so inadequate to express how much your life and work brought balance, and reality into my life. It is so ironic that we are mourning your passing and celebrating NOW's 40th Birthday this year (2006). With every event that I have attended I thought of you. At every march that I marched, I wondered if you were there, or maybe watching on TV, feeling proud that your child (NOW) had reached such high levels in our society. When people think of women's rights, they think of NOW. When women thank the feminist movement, they thank NOW. I can tell you this because as the new NOW NYS President, I have had many women come to me and tell me these things. I am honored to be part of a movement that you started. You will be missed by many. Marcia A. Pappas, President NOW NYS
My mom has taught me about this revolutionary woman since I was a little girl. I just want to say thank for changing my life and the lives of so many women around the world.
Kristin Smith
Alsip, IL
Ms. Friedan, I want to express to you how much you meant to me and inspired me to be the best I could be independently as a woman first and be whole as a person. At a time when women's roles were basically housewife, hair dresser (as then called), nurse or teacher, I became a legal secretary. At that time I could not believe due to tradition that I could succeed more than that, that I had the choice to further my education.
You helped a great deal of women. Thank you for all your hard work, and dedication. It was so appreciated. I was happy to have been a part of the generation.
Lucyl Caruso
Santa Monica, CA
In honor of a woman I am just now getting to know, I owe everything to! I wasn't even born when NOW was founded but somehow, Betty Friedan and ALL the women and yes, men, of those early days somehow penetrated my mother's womb and told me that I would benefit from their words and actions!!! I am a single mom of two great girls, never having been married. I am very proud of who I am! I am now, at the age of 38, starting my career over due to health issues and I have chosen the computer industry as my new adventure. An area that is very male-oriented. It is clearly visible in my classes where I am usually one of only a few women in a class full of men! I love it!I always felt different because I didn't want to do things the way my Mother and Grand Mother had done. Thank you, Betty, for paving the way for so many of us who wanted something different for ourselves, something different than what "society" told us we should want!!! And I can change my own flat tire, too......
Susan Maupin
Las Vegas, NV
In early 1965, at age 19, I picked up a book to read one weekend...it caught my eye because it was purple and gold...and somehow looked "regal." And the title was interesting..."The Feminine Mystique." I began to read that Friday evening... and could not put it down.... I read until Sunday...and became a feminist that very day. Betty Friedan's reasoned discussion changed my world, and my life. I honor her intelligence and courage. I am so glad I lived during the time of her life...Thank you for all you did for us, Betty—Carry On !
Jan Staheli
Bellevue, WA
Betty was a controversial personage among us, her children, as so many parents are. Many felt angry, betrayed, by her. Some couldn't understand why she only slowly changed with the times, to understand why gays and lesbians MUST be included in the struggle. But none can doubt her pragmatic wisdom. And she totally appreciated the adage "lead, follow or get out of the way." In the beginning she led, then she followed, then, when the time came, she did get out of the way. Always, she remained part of the struggle, not just for feminism, but for antiwar activism and ageism.
My fondest personal wish was that she'd live to see a woman president, if not passage of the ERA. Instead she witnessed Roberts and Alito getting onto the Court. How her heart must have cracked. Siblings, the need for unity MUST be paramount!!!!!!!! We must use all we have, work toward 2008. Keep the dream alive.
Philip
Brooklyn, NY
Friedan opened a Pandora's Box of public discourse about the role of women in society, and the importance of our fulfillment as individuals. She made us human to men in power in an attempt to equalize us, to add a female voice to the cries of those still seeking liberty in America. Love her or leave her, she was groundbreaking in her truth. I am thankful for her bravery, her fortitude and her intelligence in the face of institutionalized dismissal. Bless the woman and her message.
Kelly Spafford-Cottrell
Washington, D.C.
It saddens me to think that a woman of her prescience—"The Feminine Mystique" remains chillingly relevant in all parts of the world almost fifty years on—is gone. It's staggeringly difficult to imagine feminism—yes, Western-oriented feminism, but how astonishingly influential nonetheless—without her contribution to it. I like that she was controversial (J. Robert Oppenheimer was a lover, for instance). I like that she had an edge to her, despite how mainstream her work eventually got (she was an avowed Stalinist-Marxist for many years, for instance). I like that, even with her red credentials, she was variously described as "hopelessly bourgeois" (by Susan Brownmiller), white-centric, and the like—the true revolutionary provokes, not just proselytizes. Only one of her major works matters directly to feminism. But how it matters.
Sharanya Manivannan
Kuala Lumpur
As a mother, wife, and member of Charlotte NOW, Betty Friedan's words still inspire women today. I am forever grateful for her personal commitment towards women's equality and the legacy she left for myself and my daughters.
Nancy Dollard
Fort Mill, SC
Three cheers for a great lady!
Findlay Walker
Doylestown, PA
Last night, my dear friend, Desiree Adaway and I sat on the porch by candlelight and had a champagne toast in honor of Betty Friedan. We thanked her for setting the stage to allow women to fulfill their destinies in ways much greater than the narrow boxes society had carved out for us. We wondered if Betty could have ever imagined that in 2006, two African-American women in the South would be having a champagne toast in her honor, having felt empowered and changed by all of her life's work on behalf of women. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU BETTY FOR GIVING US THE FREEDOM TO SIMPLY BE!
Katina Grays
Americus, GA
I was saddened to hear about Betty Friedan's passing, and just her name brought me back to my junior year of high school. She was the subject of my U.S. History term paper; my mom had suggested her name to me when I couldn't think of a good person to write on. After my hard work and research (of course this was back in 1992, pre-Internet!), I got an A on the paper. When fellow classmates of mine asked me who she was, I explained to them. Since then, my involvement in women's issues has grown. Even after her helping to start NOW 40 years ago, we still have much work to do, though progress has been made. I am part of the "third wave feminists", and I know we still have much more work to do, and we have to fight harder now due to certain political aspects that threaten that progress. Betty, rest in peace, as we carry on your legacy, and we'll continue to fight for equality and other issues affecting women. You are an inspiration to all, and to me when I was in high school.
Jennifer Hochberg
Fairfield, CT 06825
When I was a sophomore in high school, we were given a class assignment to give a part of a speech by an important historical figure. Even then I was interested in women's rights. I was looking over speeches when I found one by Betty Friedan that she gave in 1969. Every thing she said in that speech, I felt. Since then, Friedan has been a heroine for me. I read "The Feminine Mystique" and even wrote papers on the work. Without Friedan, I don't know where women would be. I was absolutely shocked to hear that she had died Saturday. She was a strong woman and a role model for all. She will be missed, but in millions of women, she will live on along with her values and ideals.
Amber
Nashville, TN
I met Betty Friedan several times when I was an intern at NOW and remember her fondly. The first time I met her was at Senator Tom Daschle's breakfast meeting on a chilly morning in March 1999 as we gathered to kick off the Women's Equality Summit that year. I was overwhelmed and a bit star struck, but she was warm and receiving and happily posed for photographs with me. The news of her passing, which I received only this morning, was heartbreaking. As a feminist, but even more, as a woman, the teachings and philosophies of Mrs. Friedan gave my mother's generation the ability to work for the world we have today, and inspired both my peers and me to keep that fire alive. While other's have also marched behind her bearing offshoots of her philosophy, Mrs. Friedan's work was seminal and something that all young women should understand. She shall be greatly missed.
Karrie Bowen
Rome, PA
Having dinner with Betty Friedan in the '90's was like attending a graduate level course in political theory—there was always a lecture, always an assignment, and always a test. One time, declaring that "this welfare bill is just wrong," Betty Friedan quizzed me on what I was doing about it. Tired and frustrated, I retorted, "not as much as we could if we had your help." And what followed was a merry ride, traipsing around the Hill with the feminist author who was recognized even by her worst detractors.
We were welcomed into Congressional offices that had always been closed to anti-poverty feminists. Members of Congress stopped to say hello and pay their respects and they got an earful from Betty. A New York Time reporter followed us around several times, and there was NO one who refused to meet with us on those days. We were actually sitting in the office of soon-to-be anointed-Speaker Robert Livingston when he got a hushed phone call that caused him to resign just a few hours later.
We had press conferences and Congressional staff briefings trying to explain the reality of the lives of poor women and their families. Betty helped attract TV stars and famous authors and reluctant Democratic members to our cause. Betty cajoled and exhorted and beguiled as many elected officials and organizational leaders as she could find. Keeping up with her was like running a marathon. I pled for rest stops, interns dropped to the sidelines, and the reporter muttered something about a deadline and peeled of early every time.
In the end, President Bill Clinton signed the flawed welfare bill into law in July of 1996 and Betty admitted that the job of lobbying Congress on behalf of women was a lot harder than she thought it would be. I chuckled and said to myself, "you got that, toots."
But I have never stopped trying to pass her test. I first met her in Bozeman, MT when I was pregnant with my third son, and he's now almost 35. Every time I thought of giving up, her words and demands kept me going. We didn't always agree—who does, even with our most beloved of professors or mentors. But I watched her grow and change—improve in my feminist's mind- just I grew and changed and improved under her tutelage.
I didn't read "The Feminine Mystique" when it first came out, nor later, even though Betty offered to loan me one of the original copies. I had lived it, and borne the fruits of its message. Though I failed the reading assignment, I have been proud to carry the message that women should be free and equal participants in this great experiment that we know as democracy. Bon voyage, dear friend, and thank you for your hard work and inspiration.
Pat Reuss
Springfield, VA
My tribute is to a spectacular, interested, committed American woman who served humanity as a strong foundation for "what women must become, DO, and not just BE." I had the good fortune to have direct personal experiences in several venues with her.
I, of course, first met her through "The Feminine Mystique" vicariously, as did thousands of others. I then deemed myself to be thankful for her leadership and to be privileged to work with her in two very important organizations in my life—Girl Scouts USA and the United Nations International Women's Year Commission in the United States.
As National President of Girl Scouts USA, 75-78, I appreciated the focused, intentional work which Betty invested in the development of girls to be productive and expansive American Women. I recall her great support for our initiative to change the Girl Scout Pin to reflect the fact that it was a girl serving organization by providing the profiles of three girls—representing the diversity of Girl Scouting then and projected for the future. She helped us to always realize that the informal and formal education of women on behalf of girls would provide a rich substantial linkage to upgrading American Women.
Her work on the International Women's Year Commission National Meeting served to help women realize that each has the capability to "break the glass ceiling" but the resistant structures (formal and informal) needed to be neutralized and encouraged directional actions to make this happen.
She gained the respect of intelligent men and women throughout the world, and created controversy which led to problem solving. She was a role model for girls and women. She truly made the world better than she found it and made life a fantastic journey for the generations of women in her cohort as the pioneers, but essentially for those who would come behind. She always reminded us in those "intense discussions" that if we didn't act like there is nothing to fear but fear itself, "NO THING" would be done. We had to understand that the journey was not easy, but needed.
I pray that the women of today will continue and escalate the wonderful launching and orbit that she provided. Her memory truly will be a constant reminder of the work yet to be done: for women to DO and not just BE.
Gloria Randle Scott
National President GSUSA 1975-78, National Commission 1976-78, Member of NOW
Riviera, TX 76379
I am shocked and surprised at my good fortune of having had the opportunity to meet Ms. Friedan at an intimate dinner party with just a dozen incredible women. When I look back at this experience, I consider myself incredibly honored to have been included in this event. Truly a once in a lifetime experience.
While there were many other amazing women at this dinner party, I remember an evening of scintillating dinner conversation, followed by dessert in the living room with Betty sitting in an orange armchair with everyone seated around her. She was totally the star of the night and none of us could express how much her work had meant to us.
"I'm not done," she said that night. "I'm working on changing people's minds about aging."
I am so saddened to hear about Betty Friedan's passing today on her 85th birthday. The world has truly lost a legend and I am forever honored to have ever spent any time at all in her presence.
Excerpted from longer tribute.jozjozjoz
Los Angeles, CA
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